Patience
by Melissa Norvell
Summary: ONE SHOT Hiten has become delusional over his past. He doesn't want to become like the one he hates most. Can he figure things out before it is too late? Please R&R! REVISED


kWell, here is my first attempt at a dark Inuyasha fic that involves the Thunder Brothers. It is told from Heiten's P.O.V. This is rated R for a reason, violance and profanity used. If you don't like it, then don't read it. No one's forcing you. this takes place a bit before the final Inuyasha vs. Heiten battle....  
  
A/N: This does change P.O.V quite often, just a warning  
  
Patience  
  
Hiten floated in the sky, staring with empty eyes off into the distance. All was silent except the soft breeze blowing through his hair. Even Manten was silent.  
  
"Hey, Hiten?" Manten questioned, breaking the silence. He wanted to ask his brother why he was so silent, whether he would listen or not. Manten looked below him and gazed at the mass destruction they had caused.  
  
"Where do we go now?" he asked, glancing at Hiten for an answer. His face turned into a smirk, thinking of all of the malice he could bring upon yet more unsuspecting towns and the amount of women who would be there to feast upon. Manten glanced at his brother and saw deep sorrow in his eyes and a lost, empty look as he stared on.  
  
"Hiten?" He asked, seeing if Hiten was still in the conscious world, but he said nothing. He continued to stare off. His head was tilted slightly downward in what seemed to be a spectator's view, but in all reality, it was a look of deep sorrow. His face was void of emotion and his red eyes were empty, just like his father's have been. Manten was still staring at his brother, trying to receive an answer. He was starting to get angry at his brother's actions. It seemed that Hiten had been ignoring him  
  
"Well, I'm going. You can follow me if you still want to come.." Manten spoke before heading off west, leaving Hiten in a zombie-like state floating in the sky. The same place that he had spent many days in, destroying villages and enjoying comforting chats with his brother....Not any more.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
You changed me. I was never good enough for you, so you took my life in your evil hands. His evil face, glaring at me, reaching out to me. His smile soon fades as he watches me grow further and further away. I asked you to be joyous at my accomplishments, yet you stab me in the back. You never let me be the person I wished to be, and you were never happy with what I have done. You ripped our lives apart by doing that. I hate you with all of my soul. It consumes my every thought and movement. Every day, I wake up and often think to myself how you are doing with your wretched life since you have corrupted your son. I wished that I could be there to make every breath, every action, every emotion, every vision like a world of hell's fiery depths for you. Every night, I lay sleeping and envision myself in dreams of myself brutally assaulting you, ripping your weak, miserable body to shreds and slaughtering you with my bear hands. I want to make you suffer, as you have me.  
  
Yes, sleep is my best time. You have often haunted my nightmares for nights in the past, not now. I have realized that it wasn't my fault that you used me. It wasn't my fault that I fell blindly into your power trip traps, misusing the one who looked up to you. None of this mess was my fault.  
  
I took a look over my shoulder to see if anyone was there. I could have sworn I seen someone, I am still in thought about how I had wished your body was charring in hell with anyone who filled your head with the idea that you were better then me and deserved to us me to do your bidding. Manten was never your son because you never treated him with love and respect. I hope he hates you. I hope he feels like killing you for what you have done, but my dreams are all in vain. You used my mind to manipulate him. You piece of shit. I hate you. I hate the very ground you walk on.  
  
A hand touched my shoulder. It had melted some of the ice that shrouded my heart and mind. I looked over my shoulder with a hint of fake evilness and met with the cold, blue eyes of a man who was from a friendly town that had known nothing of my brother, Manten and I. He was giving me a serious look and he opened his mouth. I could see his lips moving, creating sounds and syllables that ultimately made words, but I could hear nothing. Nothing but a sad little boy's cry for help.  
  
That sad little boy was me. Who I am now gives me strength. This was my reason for living on that tortured me into thinking about your manipulation. The words echo through my head and I watched as he gave me a look that seemed to say, "What the hell?" mixed with more words, but the saddened voice grew louder, drowning out the low calm voice of this weak human. I was waiting...  
  
The words faded. Warrior...Warrior? Wait. Did you say something about a warrior? I searched for the questions in my head as I pieced together the words, but my vocal cords wouldn't let me respond. I watched as the man left after we had walked a way into a nearby village. I hadn't realized that we had even been walking. Why? Why leave me here? I want to be away...away from the outside world. I can't be alone if there are people standing around. I listened and spied the man conversing with this young "warrior". Puny humans and their pathetic challenges. The warrior was showing off his sword technique, my eyes wondering with his every movement.  
  
My body was frozen. I could not move. The warrior's battle cries grew louder and louder as his pitch heightened, sending it through my head as a blood curdling scream. I pulled my head downward and clutched either side with each of my hands. I closed my eyes tight, trying to rid myself of the scream the echoed through my head like a banshee, halting me where I stood. I heard someone say something to me over the scream that echoed down my esophagus.  
  
I opened my eyes but my head was still down. The piercing scream finally died down as I moved my head upwards, seeing the others staring at me. They all asked the same question, something along the lines of 'are you all right?' or 'is something wrong?' but I just ignored their words and slowly walked over to this warrior they had said so much about. I didn't look at anyone else as I stood infront of the curious looking warrior. He said some words and gave me a serious look. The warrior infront of my changed, as though he was molding his appearance infront of my eyes. His once blonde hair melted away to show the long ebony hair and his big, dark green eyes flickered and flashed until they were the sharpest, most radiant color of red I had ever seen in my life. My father.  
  
He looked a bit surprised and reached for me, but I stood still. All I could do was stare. Stare and receive worried glances from the people around me. I put my head down and slowly and stopped a few inches from his grasp, watching as the sight of my father faded to show the serious face of the warrior of the town. I wrinkled my face at him, trying to think of who exactly he was. He had just been introduced fully to me, but his face seemed foreign now. Everything did. I was in a town of strangers. Strangers that didn't understand or see the pain you've brought to me. I knew him, but then again, I did not. His face got worried as I took a step back. The warrior let out a small noise and my deep thoughts were now cut off. You have deceived me once more.  
  
******  
  
I sat on a rock, staring off as I had before, Manten had returned, and he began to speak to me. I lowered my eyes and saw his lips moving but my thoughts were lost. I was lost and couldn't find my way. I was lost in the memory of you hunting me and killing my soul. I was empty inside and thoughts made no sense to me.  
  
"You..." I heard him say. That was all I caught of his sentence. It was enough to grab any hold of my attention so I continued to stare into the cold eyes of what he has become. I had waited and would continue to wait.  
  
"Past.." I heard again. Nope, still didn't know what he was talking about and I still didn't care. My eyes blurred and I didn't know why. I couldn't see straight. I felt him place a hand on me, but I didn't move. I made no attempt to take his comfort. "I....fault....prediciament...Hiten..." I heard him stress. That was enough to snap my head over to him and listen to what he had to say. He mentioned my predicament. The one thing that was on my mind; the one thing that had ravaged my soul for so long.  
  
"I know it hurts, but you ha-" his voice cut off from my ears even though he was still talking. The same shit over and over. 'I know it's painful...' or 'be strong' or 'I miss the old Hiten' Over and over, the same shit. Well, fuck you all. What do you know about my pain? What about my suffering? Why should I tell you about it when you'll just look at me as a delusional, decrepit man who's confused and afraid of his own reality. That's what I was. I was afraid of being too close to anyone for fear of an omen coming to them. There wasn't much left of me to rip apart, but that doesn't mean someone won't try. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of love. I was confused.  
  
"Are you listening?" he asked, dropping what little attention he had of mine to the floor where I felt it squander around, most likely to never be picked up again. He saw that he had lost, or what he had...I don't know anymore....I looked at him, though I was shamed to. I seemed to be looking through him, to the blank wall on the other side. His red eyes and his jet black hair faded. I could faintly smell the scent of cherry blossoms and rainwashed air. The outdoors, laying in the grass, resting in peace among the long blades as the gentle wind goes over your body. Laying there, watching, patient...My proud brother...I looked up. He came to me with a smile on his face. I returned the smile. Our father approached us, and I left you behind to see him. I thought that he was happy to see me, but all he wanted was for me to go and kill more civilians for him. When I returned, you look at me and smiled. I was cold. You become sorrowful, as do I. I was confused. The darkness had taken over my mind. The darkness had taken over my mind and caused me to become corrupt and act in that manner. Maybe it was my fault. I could have warned you, Manten....But I didn't. Why? Why didn't I do it? Why did I let you manipulate me like this?  
  
"Why?" I asked in a very distant, lost voice. My mind was blank and I was too confused with my own feelings to see the look of concern in Manten's eyes. He kicked my leg again, picking up my attention a little more, he had previously dropped but it held tight this time. He grabbed either side of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. He stared at me a long time searched my eyes for something he would never find. They were empty. Empty to the world.  
  
"My brother.." He whispered. My eyes were locked on him in a look of pain and sorrow that burned deeper then Manten could ever feel reached my once empty eyes. He would never know how much it killed me to hear him say that. I thought I had wanted it, but in all reality I didn't. I don't want to be called brother. Brother isn't an appropriate title for me, even by you, Manten, my family. I could have never stopped my father from being the man he was. I failed as a youkai to live up to a worthy cause and help you out. You had been sucked into a trap long before you had the chance to relay any kindness given to me. But was it really what I wanted though? Kindness?  
  
My eyes blurred again, making Manten's face float around in a series of colors and textures. He came close and laid his hand across my face as he wiped something off. A tear fell on my foot. My face was hot and wet. I don't remember crying. I don't remember the pain protruding the salty waters from my eyes.  
  
I looked at Manten. He was still staring with concern. His eyes sparkled with tears of their own and I felt myself being pulled in...Their dark color swam around in my mind, covering my every thought in a haze of light, making my mind wander again. Why did I keep him around? What was his true purpose? Had I wanted love and kindness...Or pity? Neither. I wanted support. I needed it but I had lost it. He transformed me as Manten watched, helpless to do anything about it, I was weak mentally. It had been because of my weakness that I didn't warn you. I was too weak. I had always been weak...Always..Manten was still staring at me. I looked at his face, I could see the pain in his eyes. He knew suffering. He knew loss. He knew how it felt in his own way. He understood how hard it was. For him it was hair and good looks, for me it was freedom.  
  
"Manten, I'm sorry..." I said, bearly above a whisper. It had been the first words I have spoken these past 5 days and the look Manten gave me forced a smile to my lips. His face shown with the love he felt. He cared about me. Caring....That is what I had feared the most. I didn't want him to care about me. My mind began to blur once more. I would've been happier if he had mouth blasted me and fed my remains to the dogs. I pulled back and turned away from him. The stunned look on his face never met my eyes. I would get used to it and loose it. I was destined to be alone.  
  
"What did I do?" Manten asked. He was determined to hold my attention no matter how far it tried to divert itself, it always returned to him. I let his words float through my scrambled mind and found myself asking the same question. What did I do? I wanted love. I needed it, but I couldn't have it. I couldn't because of my weakness and fear. I aimlessly said, " I don't know." My mind wandered again, and Manten left.  
  
***********  
  
Dead, I am dead. I'm dead in my mind and in my soul. I go through my day as a zombie; I talk to no one. Manten stares at me while he's around, with his eyes piercing into me, but yet I felt nothing. Emptiness. Death....Death was a comforting thought. I think about it's grip taking hold of me and giving me peace of mind. How many times have I prayed in hopes that I would leave my dreams of torturing you? I've lost track. I always wake up empty and disappointed. That's all I am, a disappointment. I looked over the town, the darkness covered my face and filled my eyes.  
  
Manten appeared in front of me. I didn't even really see him. I didn't flinch a muscle. He stared at me, but I still did not see him, He was dead to me. Just a shadow on someone I once knew. He spoke to me, I still didn't see him. He glared into my face, still I saw nothing. Death, the icy cold oblivion overwhelmed me. I wanted it. I thought about Manten's life, he would hate it if he died, but I knew he wasn't afraid of it. He had longed for it at one point. I know why, now. Leaving behind the pain, memories, and becoming void to all emotions and life. I looked at him again, but with question in my eyes. I'll wait.  
  
"Come with me?" I asked. He tilted his head at me and stared into my eyes. I could feel the answer float from his mind into mine. His face went blank and he let out a sigh, covering my face with the scent of his breath. He looked over out of the window and back at me and slowly nodded his head. I told him to follow me as I went outside.  
  
***************  
  
I opened my eyes to see the branches of a tree that grew in the darkness. I lifted my head and saw Manten watching me, on the tree stump nearby. I laid down. What am I doing here? Why is he staring at me as I lay under this old tree? I could see the cherry blossoms floating through the sky. It was useless, I could not rid myself of this emptiness.  
  
Look at what you've done to me! Look! I'm weak, afraid, dead! You killed me! You grabbed the every thread of joy and meaning in my life and savagely ripped it in two, leaving me nothing but killing people for sport, that offered no comfort. I know you're dead, and I could see you in hell. the very thought brought a smile to my face. I would wait. I had no love here. I had no meaning for being here.  
  
Everything I created was useless in every way imaginable. No one appreciated my attempts to help. They don't care for me like I had once been cared for. So handsome, so strong, and so daring, yet the love I was given was more then enough to make my heart flutter with joy at seeing you smile at me, my brother, regardless of what I do.  
  
Hell couldn't be any worse then here; it could only be the same. There I could see my father for what he really was. I would be able to see his face, twisted with an antagonizing scream of pain as the fire ate at his skin and charred his bones. I would be able to see the fear, pain, and any other emotion he could've felt from taking away my life...My joy....My meaning...I would be able to watch him for all eternity and love it. I deal with my own pain, just watching you suffer through yours. I looked at Manten, still smiling, he smirked at me as he walked over to me in his slow, lumbering mannerism. He sat down and rested against the tree trunk.  
  
"I am here for you," he said. I looked at him with a blank face, void of emotions or caring. Even my smile was meaningless and hung on my lips like a curtain and had hit the floor in a frown, masking my true feelings. What feelings? Manten tilted his head and asked me something. I didn't hear it. I didn't have to hear him to know what he was saying. "What's wrong?" I'll tell you what's wrong, I'm a living hell. You know how it feels to have something brutally ripped from you. You understand me. You're always there for me...come with me.  
  
"Come with me," I said in an empty voice, subconsiously finding strength to voice my thoughts, even though I had no intentions of doing so. Manten took a deep breath and let his answer out slowly in a pained expression. His eyes swarm around in their dark beauty. He was the one thing in my life that was more then a useless killing tool, but something capable of feelings and thoughts. He was my brother. My friend.  
  
"How about you come with me?" He asked after a moment. I bearly heard him, but I knew then, that he knew how I was feeling. The link. He's been listening to me this whole time. He knew. His eyes bore into me with concern and fear. I smiled at you for my first time in my life since I have been lost. I felt the love I needed. I saw it in his eyes and heard it in his words, even if I wasn't listening. He had to come with me. I could not go with him. The real world was lost and I wouldn't be able to find it, even with his guidance. He gave me a look of understanding and concern that ripped me in half. He really wanted to be there. For some reason, he found something here that urged him to stay. Why? He tried for other's respect and got nothing in return for his efforts. Not even a thank you. He had risked his life all to look good and impress women who were too ignorant to appreciate his efforts.  
  
"No," I said simply. If anyone were to go with me, it would be that warrior. He deserved to be in hell so that I could watch his face alongside of mine. Both of us screaming in unison was like music to my ears. I loved it and I longed for it. I was going to have it and finally have peace. I was going to be patient.  
  
*************  
  
I spied the warrior, he had invited us to eat with him. He had no idea of who we were and our reputation. The food was tasteless and it didn't fill me like it usually did. It didn't lift my spirits as it used to. I heard my name again and again, but still I did not look up. Someone had their hand on me, Manten? I finally raised my head and saw him asking me with his eyes to come back. I gave him an apologetic look, telling him I couldn't. I don't know where to go. You stood at every path and blocked my every way. I would try to find an alternate path, but I would always get lost. Someone had given me bad directions. I looked at the warrior who stared at me with a look of concern? Bull-fucking shit. You don't care, you filthy human, so why try? I watched as his face manipulated itself in my eyes, twisting in a scream of pain. A sly smile slowly crossed my face.  
  
"Hiten.." Manten said softly, still looking at me. It wasn't to get my attention, it was to warn me that I should wait. Manten was worried. Deeply worried. The new warrior was confused. He sounded like he cared, but he did not. He thinks I am insane and about to kill them. Was I? No, I wasn't. I wasn't out to kill anyone. I just wanted to give them what they truly deserved. Sorry my brother. I haven't been myself lately.....or have I? Is this how I've always been? My smile faded and I looked back at my food. It had sat there where it was, but it looked rotten. If taken without the knowledge of the spoil, it could make you sick. It made me sick. I've had to put up with all of this. The fact that people don't think before they speak made me sick to my stomach and I could feel the acids and resent food in my gut force it's way to the surface. I closed my eyes and turned my head away, the feeling of rising sickness in my stomach. I heard my name again and swallowed to keep the rank flavor down.  
  
"Hiten?" I heard. That seemed to be the only word I reacted to. I knew it was Manten. I looked over at him and stared. Come with me. He looked softened and I could see his mouth move, saying the word 'no', but I could not hear it. My face fell and I looked at the other humans, who were still talking about me, saying how I'm crazy and Manten is the only one who can keep me from killing them. My vision began to blur, I shook my head and I became lightheaded. I was weak. Without thinking, I passed out.  
  
I could feel the cold of the washcloth as it gently passed over my forehead. I could feel it consuming my body sending shivers down my legs. I let my head rest on the gentle pillow. I sighed and a tear fell from my closed eye. I didn't feel it run down my face, but I felt Manten use the rag to wipe it away.  
  
"Please Hiten. You can't do this." He told me, his voice full of sorrow, dripping with the emotion that I had never heard in his voice before. The words ran down my mind like water over rocks and crashed at the bottom into a mist of questions, drowning out everything around me.  
  
You didn't understand, Manten. I've tried so hard and I've accomplished so much, for what? For a title? What do I have to show for my efforts? Nothing. There is no point in trying anymore. There is nothing to try for.  
  
"Me." Manten said. Him. Try for him? Haven't I done that before? Haven't I tried at one point to be a good brother? Haven't I tried to grow close to you and pray that you would be able to help me?  
  
"I'm here, aren't I?" He asked as he moved around in front of me. Yes, yes you are here. You are caring for me when I need it. You're supporting me, watching over me. I became ill and you cared for me, regardless of what anyone thought. Thank you, but I still feel like falling asleep, never to wake up again in hope of seeing the anguished that I was so patient to see....Come with me. You will be able to see the face of father, screaming in pain for what he has done to us, my brother. I believe I have been patient enough.  
  
"No," he said, playing along as best he could without getting angry at my repeated offer. He knew that I was hurting. He knew how I felt. He wasn't stupid. He didn't want to come with me. He wanted to stay with them. Why?  
  
"Because it's our only way back to how things used to be," He said in a whisper. I stared at him, trying to find a reason behind that being the only way, but I couldn't see it. He didn't want to be with his own brother. Brother. What does that word mean? Someone who has took you under their guidance, a family member who would stay with you all throughout life. I hadn't done that for Manten. He waned to be with them. Them. Who wanted to be just as ignorant and careless as them. Why? Why leave me? He wrapped his arms around me in a soft, gentle hug that I couldn't pull away from. He liked me. I didn't want to be liked. I didn't want him to care for me, but I took it anyway and slowly put my arm around him and patted his back half heartedly. His embrace tightened as new tears fell. I truly had lost him. He was no longer my brother, he hugged me and cared for me, but he wanted nothing more to do with me. He didn't want to come with me and I had told him to come with me his belief for wanting freedom had ultimately hurt him. He was ignorant. I hated him. I wanted him to suffer.  
  
Someone would have to come, I would have to wait.  
  
************  
  
I looked up at the sky, staring at the moon as it illuminated my face with it's pale, white light. I actually has left the building to get some fresh air, hoping it would life my spirits. I felt a sense of peace in the moons, dark, deep craters and enjoyed the coolness of the soft gentle night breeze. I looked down at the soil infront of me and drug my claw across the top if it, feeling it's rough surface. Patience. If I had patience, I would see your face again. I would see it twisted in the pain it deserved. Just you and me. My only regret is not being there when you took your last breath. The warrior came into my line of light but I didn't look completely at him. My eyes were fixed on the paleness of the moon. I heard his voice yelling and screaming at me, but it was as if it were in a different language. I couldn't understand his words and I grew to hate his annoying, high pitched voice that hurt my ears. I spun around and glared at him with such suddenness and fury that it blinded him. I didn't want him here. I hated him. Just like everyone else. He started at me as I lunged over. His face was like milk against the light of the moon and his eyes were red like fire, burning their anger and confusion into me. I didn't care. I wasn't thinking straight and my body was moving on it's own. I smiled. I could handle this. I was patient.  
  
He smiled awkwardly at my smile. I laughed. He laughed too, still confused. I threw my head back in laughter. He did the same, thinking it would help him. I shot my arm out and it wrapped my hand around his throat, squeezing until I felt his windpipe collapse under the pressure of my strong grip. I had been patient. He fell to his knees as he gripped my hand in silent protest as he gagged for breath. I smiled at him and grabbed his stick weapon, folded up, brought my other hand around, ripping it from his side violently and plunged the end into his ribs with a crack. He let out a cough as his face twisted in pain and my smile widened, watching his eyes fluttering in and out of focus. I wanted him gone. It didn't matter how. I would be patient. I was patient. I dropped him to the ground as he wheezed for breath. I stood over and watched him as he struggled to get to his feet, still gasping for air. I lifted him into the air and pulled his face toward mine as I towered over his twitching form. I put my face right up to his so that he could see me out of the corner of his eye before they rolled back in his head as I smiled. The sounds he emitted, caught in his throat, making choking sounds that sang to me like beautiful music.  
  
"You ignorant fool," I whispered in a soft voice as I brought my face to where I could feel the his face from my skin on his nose. He struggled to gain breath and tears were running down his face. I smiled and let out a laugh, washing my tainted breath over him.  
  
"You will suffer with that ignorance," I whispered in a gentle voice, striking terror through him before bringing my staff to a quick, sudden movement, slamming it into the tip of his nose, pushing it into his skull. I let out a sigh as his body immediately fell to the ground, unmoving. Blood flowed from his head and ears in steady streams, staining the brown dirt. I leaned over and stared at his open eyes, smiling to myself as tears of blood fell from his emaciated head. It swirled around in watery pools of color, dragging me into their dead beauty and ever changing pattern of red and pink. I tilted my head thoughtfully as I sat next to his still warm corpse, I lashed my tongue across the end of my staff, tasting the coppery blood, then I walked away, leaving him for the worms.  
  
*********  
  
I've felt this pain, I cried these tears, experienced this emptiness they've destroyed me. I'm cold and hard. Unforgiving. Emotionless. I heard yelling. I heard threats and accusations. I didn't care. I knew they had found the new warrior and I still had the taste of his blood inside of my mouth. I could taste the coppery flavor of his young but lost life on my lips. The yells stopped and silence was followed. Silence. I liked it. It was peaceful.  
  
"Hiten," I heard. Manten. The silence had been broken, just like my life. He stood infront of me but I again, saw right through him. He wasn't there. No one was. "Why?" He asked. "What about our plan to get the Shikkon no Tama." It was true, we needed him to help us find the Shikkon no Tama, he knew the location of a few shards we could use.  
  
Why? Why what? He was in my way. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to. I didn't know why I did it, honestly. I just did. It seemed right at the time. He should've expected it. Shouldn't he have? I would've.  
  
"What have you done!!" I heard a warrior scream in anger. I actually heard him, and my anger for him grew to a new level at the sound of his voice.  
  
"You, shut you mouth you arrogant little fuck," I said without moving my gaze from Manten's solemn face, I blasted him with the Ragekijin. Manten let out a ladored sigh and walked off. He had hit me. My face stung. It burned. It hurt. It wasn't just a physical hurt. It was a deep emotional hurt that ran into the very depths of my being, but not just because of him. Because the fact that no one understood me and no one cared. Not even him anymore. I knew a warrior was behind me. I knew what he was feeling. I wanted him to come, it should've been him, not the new warrior. Manten returned and wiped my face using force. I watched his lowered face, bearly seeing his eyes but my attention was still on my face. Why had this happened? Why did things always end up this way? I was the bad guy and everyone was the good guy. The victim of me, the bad guy. The story was one sided.  
  
What would've my story been if asked about it though? I killed him because....I don't know why. I was in pain. I was suffering. I had gone mad. Haven't they seen that? No. I hadn't even seen it. I was too wrapped up in you that I was blinded in my own actions. Manten stared at me with menevolence in his eyes and a deep frown on his face. I stared right back at him with empty eyes and remained silent. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I'm confused, afraid, disappointed, and anticipating.  
  
Anticipating the day when all of this would end. When my pain and suffering would stop, leaving me with the satisfaction I wanted. Manten's gaze softened a bit, yet he continued to stare at me as if he knew my thoughts. The warriors said something, but I didn't understand it. It was all jibberish to me. I felt my eyes blur again and bearly saw Manten's face fall to the ground in guilt. He took a deep breath and knelt down, my gaze following him. I kept my gaze on him. He held a cool rag up to my stinging cheek. More tears. More tears that I didn't feel fall. More tears that really had no purpose. He turned to the warrior and shrugged with a pained look on his face. I closed my eyes and saw the warrior laying in the front yard, lifeless. His blonde hair, put up in a ponytail, as he lay sprawled out on the cold hard ground. I could see the blood swirling around in his eye, empty, staring off into space, just as empty as mine.  
  
******  
  
I smiled as I flew down to a new fight. I got there and saw no one. Abandoned. No one but me. Beside a tree. I looked around at the dark sky. I felt a sense of peace flow through me and a calming aura wrapped itself around my large body. I hear footsteps. I heard my name. Hiten. It was Manten. I heard him shout it again. His voice was full of sorrow and worry and fear. I didn't know why. I was happy and that's all that mattered. I was still smiling watching him frantically look around for something. I didn't know what. I didn't care.  
  
**************  
  
I had fought against a hanyou named Inuyasha, we had a tough battle and he had slain the only one that cared for me, Manten. I was alone, he had joined me after all....Still I would wait....  
  
In an instant he had sliced me with Tetsusaiga, I was too wrapped in my thoughts to fight straight and for that I have lost, but had I wanted this? Maybe I had all along.  
  
It hurt. Light reflected off of a pale red ooze that covered every inch of my pale skin, making it look like a plastic glove. What had I done? I don't remember. I turned my head a bit and looked at my hand for a long time before seeing my clothes soaked with blood. My skin and clothes were covered and so was the dull brown ground below me. I smiled. My anticipation grew as I raised my head to see Inuyasha and his friends looking back at me.  
  
"Wait, he may not be dead." Inuyasha said as he held back his friends. Where was I going to go? I couldn't get up. I couldn't move my legs. I could turn my head and lift my arm. That was it so I waited patiently. I closed my eyes and let the idea of death take over. I felt happy and excited since the first time you betrayed me. I mean truly happy. This was all going to an end. I weakly tried to smile, but didn't have the strength. I took deep breaths before letting out a cough, spraying the air with splatters of red blood. I swallowed hard and gasped once before wincing in pain. I opened my eyes and felt that everything had ended. The emotional pain, the suffering, the anguish I had gone through ... had vanished. I smiled weakly at the sky.  
  
"I'm sorry my brother," I wheezed.  
  
"I smiled warmly at the sky and let out a moan before coughing up more blood as it began to fill my lungs.  
  
"I was dead already. I realize now that I have gone mad. I lost my mind as well as my way of life. This was the only thing I wanted." I said in a soft, bubbly voice as I felt the blood come up my throat and into my mouth, dripping down my chin. I turned my head and coughed up what I could and looked back at my killers with my head rested in a smile on my bloody lips.  
  
I felt my lungs fill up and took one last gasp before hacking up the fluid in my lungs, ripping the last holding piece of muscle that walled my insides. I opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was a puddle of blood, all over the top of the earth.  
  
"I...I....love you....my faithful brother," I wheezed, blood spraying from my lips as the air spraying words passed over. I took a deep, crackly breath and coughed it out before my eyes. I felt the warmth wash over me and lift my thoughts away. Away from this earth, away from feudal Japan, away from...away...from Inuyasha. I had hurt him. The only one that understood my pain and suffering had been hurt by me.... the bad guy. I was no better then my father. I was no better then him. I realized I wasn't going to see his anguished face and enjoy his suffering, but I was going so that one day, Manten would be able to see my pained face, my anguish, my torture. He would see my suffering for what I had done to him. I had become what I hated most. I had become him.  
  
"I..I'm...so...sorry...I'll....I'll see you again...my....brother..." I wheezed as my last breath left my now blood filled lungs, spraying the blood on my lips for the last time. I could bearly feel the wind blow one last time before, I lost all feeling, all sight, all senses. Peace. I finally had peace. But peace wasn't alone. It was accompanied by guilt and I walked forward, heading for my new life and my new feelings of guilty peace. I had been patient and I will continue to be patient until the day I see your face again.  
  
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THE END  
  
Well, please R&R, even if it is crappy and tell me what you think. Don't flame, those are used for burning my math books. If you read my bio you know that I don't tolerate flames of any kind. Constructive criticism on the other hand, is good for me ^^ 


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